Why Men Love Bitches

Posted by kim on October 23, 2006

A couple of years ago, the talk shows were raving about the book: He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. I fell for the hype and headed to Amazon.com to buy my own copy. Of course, Amazon likes to recommend other things to purchase. The “Buy Both and Save” button landed me Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship as well. I actually didn’t save any money by buying both at the same time, so I commend Amazon for the excellent marketing ploy.

Well, I just had to read the back cover of He’s Just Not That Into You to realize that the guy I was dating was just not that into me. So, on to Why Men Love Bitches.

My friend and I both read the book and used the techniques on our boyfriends. They were seriously eating out of our hands. We both gave the book rave reviews and recommended it to all our other friends (Note, it worked for married couples as well). But once I got him hooked, lined and sunk, I realized that I was just not that into him. I seem to have that problem once the chase is over.

I’m not much of a book reader. I don’t even like to read long newspaper articles. But I did read the Bitch Book in its entirety. Twice. Right now I’m reading 20 Times a Lady by Karyn Bosnak. Karyn was that chick that created SaveKaryn.com and got strangers to pay off her credit card bills. Smart Girl. And she can write, too. The dating humor reminds me a little of The Year of Yes by Maria Dahvana Headley. (click for my review).

Filed Under: Supplications

John Schlarb said,

Reading is a tool, that enhances the ability to aply the knowlege to ones ability to ajust their life style. Not to live someone elses life for you. In other words, you need to find someone who see`s you as they see themself. It sounds like your all caught up in your life before your marriage, and your childeren. And you want it that way now, with a few exception`s. So darlin I feel for you, but this is your life, and when you find that common ground. You`ll find that man that will be one with you, and your life (The man and your childeren) will be able to ajust to your needs. John
Paul said,

“A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own”, “used the techniques on our boyfriends. They were seriously eating out of our hands”

This could be mistaken for info on how to keep a wild lion. This is all about survival, control, defensiveness, and preventative measures to get the best of the other person so that they can’t get the best of you. Yikes. Applying that outlook to a relationship = doomed forever. It will never work. However! if applied to a zookeeper it will work fine. There must be trust or respect in both directions. The one who loves the least has the power in a relationship. That is gospel right there. The trick is to create a safe space for each other that will allow trust and love to grow to a point that both people equally adore each other.
Paul said,

“got strangers to pay off her credit card bills. Smart Girl.”

Empty too. My Mom inherited some money. I can have all present and future bills paid off at any time and I’ve asked her to stop offering. I can’t imagine having someone else step in to make selfish choices and stinky merchandise bills go away. That seems gluttonous and slothful. One would have to be empty and hollow and irresponsible to accept something like that. It is tempting to basically pick and choose when we want self-determination or when we want to have others accomplish things for us. No different from holding out a cup on the corner. Oh let’s see, the Salvation Army charity or the charity case. That’s $20k that could go to battered women or broken homes but America united and we’re ensuring that the mall rats and Visa and Discover are getting whole again. Hey could someone turn down that news program about those orphans because I’m on the phone with Gucci; this zipper might be faulty.
Dawn said,

I laughed when I saw this. Sorry to you guys who posted negative comments, but I fought this way of thinking for a long long time. Even when one of my best friends, who used to be the sweetest girl in the world, told me that it is the only thing that works. If so may ladies are feeling this way, men only have themselves to blame. I have always compromised, been nice, been fair. That is until a couple of months ago when my fiance showed up on my doorstep telling me that he didn’t want to be with me any longer. He even admits that I “was like gold” – and those are his exact words. Throughout our relationship and to this day, he stuck up for and compliments his girlfriend before me who did nothing but use him and suck him dry. So you guys out there, please enlighten us if we’re so wrong!! (And thanks for posting the book, I’ll be going to Amazon:))
Babenko said,

Hi, nice site!
Books in Kim’s House » Why Men Love Bitches said,

[...] Click here for my book review of “Why Men Love Bitches” [...]
taw99 said,

An old GF of mine had this book, and one day I took a look at it. Very interesting ideas which helped me understand why she seemed to change for the worse later in our relationship. Sad to say for her, these tactics did not work on me.

taw