Born with Burnt Feet

Posted by kim on April 18, 2009

Last year at my Grandma Betty’s 84th Birthday Party (at the bar no less), we were talking about a local couple’s 40th wedding anniversary coming up. I replied that I thought their eldest son was already 40.  No, my grandma corrected me, but he would be soon though as he was born with burnt feet.

Burnt feet?
Yeah, the bun came out of the oven too soon.
Like Premature? Wouldn’t they be doughy then?
No, they had to get married.

So, the conclusion was that one is born with burnt feet when they were conceived before their parents got married.  My Aunt Squeak knew the term well already having heard it several times from her mother.  But she was definitely not born with burnt feet as she is frequently reminded she was an “Oops” baby born 13 years after her older brother (my dad).

Me, on the other hand, er foot, definitely have hot feet. My parents got married in June, and I was born in September of that same year.  So we started doing the math on other family members.  We were shocked to learn my eldest cousin (not present to defend herself) had been born with burnt feet as well.

Fast forward to Grandma Betty’s 85th birthday this year (same time, same place), only this time the whole family was present, including said cousin above.  So we broke the news to her.  She said she did the math when she was seven, but seemed disturbed over the burnt feet phrase and wanted to know its origin.  Heck if we could help her out.

So, I googled it.  She googled it.  Nothing. Although this post on Burned Feet and Hairy Backs distracted me for a minute. Urban Dictionary couldn’t even help me out.  Maybe Grandma Betty made up the expression herself. Who knows? Anyone have any input?

Doggone Diverting Drolls

Posted by kim on April 9, 2009

I think most of you know my stance on dogs by now – I despise them. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I simply detest dogs. In fact I think I may need to invest in a Dog Dazer Dog Repeller for when I go on walks.  Actually I’ve been running now (not from the dogs, but to get in shape).

I got my “Daily Chuckle” from ABestWeb today…

WHY SOME MEN HAVE DOGS AND NOT WIVES
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ‘If I died, would you get another dog?’
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

Obviously posted by a man, to which a woman replied…

HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they’re jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never
laugh at how you throw.)
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
10. Dogs understand what “no” means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women’s crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.

I think I’ll still pass on this Dog for Sale.