@Tykerman1 Nice to meet a fellow Nebraska tweeter! I'm jealous of your wife as I want to someday do charity work in Africa, too! in reply to Tykerman13 hrs ago
Yes, I know I’ve been MIA for awhile. I added a FriendFeed widget to the homepage to show that I have indeed been around and online, just crazy busy. You can subscribe to my FriendFeed if you want to stalk me, or just see what I mostly do all day long. Sorry, I don’t sell sex toys as some people speculate.
So, here’s the condensed version of the recent happenings in da house…
My twins got confirmed on Palm Sunday. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that shopping for dresses for teens is exhausting. And according to my daughter, I didn’t show enough cleavage to get out of the speeding ticket I got on our way home from the mall.
My son graduated high school and moved away to work for the summer. Ok, I didn’t think I’d actually ever say “they grow up so fast”, but well… (mumbling under breath)… He’ll be attending UNL in the fall - Go Huskers!
My “littlest, but biggest” brother gets married this coming weekend. I’ll add a picture from the bachelorette party at the end of the post (and my cleavage did slip out a bit that night).
Next week, I’m having surgery as I have a uterian fibroid tumor and have to have a total hysterectomy (more gory details). That’s another reason I haven’t been blogging as much as I haven’t been feeling well the last couple months. But watch out for me after I’m recovered! I asked if I could have some plastic surgery done while under the knife, but the doctor didn’t accede the idea.
I’ve decided if I rewrite my list of date application requirements, I’m going to add “Group Health Insurance” as a higher priority, as medical bills suck, especially for small business owners. Where’s all this healthcare reform the new government administration promised us to save on healthcare? And yes, I admit I voted for Obama.
Remember when I sold my house almost three years ago? Well, the gal that bought it has been unsuccessfully trying to sue me over things that I had no fault in for the past two years. I bit my tongue about the whole ordeal due to the whole “anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law” Miranda warning. And now that the case has finally been dismissed and the statue of limitations is up, I could re-tell the whole drawn out affair, but I’ve decided it’s best not to slander anyone. And trust me, I have way more juicier life stories I could tell.
So there’s what you’ve missed lately from the Queen of Snob Hill’s house. Yes, someone actually called me that. I think being called a MILF would have been more flattering, but gotta take any homage I can get.
My mom, Me, my future Sister-in-law, my Sister
Wait, if I’m theQueen, I want my crown! And a King! And servants, and…
Last year at my Grandma Betty’s 84th Birthday Party (at the bar no less), we were talking about a local couple’s 40th wedding anniversary coming up. I replied that I thought their eldest son was already 40. No, my grandma corrected me, but he would be soon though as he was born with burnt feet.
Burnt feet?
Yeah, the bun came out of the oven too soon.
Like Premature? Wouldn’t they be doughy then?
No, they had to get married.
So, the conclusion was that one is born with burnt feet when they were conceived before their parents got married. My Aunt Squeak knew the term well already having heard it several times from her mother. But she was definitely not born with burnt feet as she is frequently reminded she was an “Oops” baby born 13 years after her older brother (my dad).
Me, on the other hand, er foot, definitely have hot feet. My parents got married in June, and I was born in September of that same year. So we started doing the math on other family members. We were shocked to learn my eldest cousin (not present to defend herself) had been born with burnt feet as well.
Fast forward to Grandma Betty’s 85th birthday this year (same time, same place), only this time the whole family was present, including said cousin above. So we broke the news to her. She said she did the math when she was seven, but seemed disturbed over the burnt feet phrase and wanted to know its origin. Heck if we could help her out.
So, I googled it. She googled it. Nothing. Although this post on Burned Feet and Hairy Backs distracted me for a minute. Urban Dictionary couldn’t even help me out. Maybe Grandma Betty made up the expression herself. Who knows? Anyone have any input?
I think most of you know my stance on dogs by now - I despise them. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I simply detest dogs. In fact I think I may need to invest in a Dog Dazer Dog Repeller for when I go on walks. Actually I’ve been running now (not from the dogs, but to get in shape).
WHY SOME MEN HAVE DOGS AND NOT WIVES
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ‘If I died, would you get another dog?’
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
Obviously posted by a man, to which a woman replied…
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they’re jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never
laugh at how you throw.)
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
10. Dogs understand what “no” means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women’s crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.
My son graduated high school and moved away to work for the summer. Ok, I didn’t think I’d actually ever say “they grow up so fast”, but well… (mumbling under breath)… He’ll be attending UNL in the fall - Go Huskers!
I think most of you know my stance on dogs by now - I despise them. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I simply detest dogs. In fact I think I may need to invest in a 
